I read an article recently about the rise of 'performative' or Pinterest parenting on social media and the pressure to get it right all the time. I have chosen to share some of my life on social media. I share the good bits, I share the funny bits, but I probably don't share the bad or tough bits enough, probably because I want people to think I have it together. The truth is, I don't. I have shared plenty of images, like the one below. The smiles was real. The moment was real. However, by me choosing to share this image, and not an image of the very tired toddler who cried the whole way through pumpkin carving and the very stressed out mum who could not get to the car quick enough, I am only showing my best side. It is one moment in a filtered reality. My parenting life, however, is more trial and error. It is fuzzy. It is imperfect. It is messy. It is chaotic.
Although, parents have began to share their parenting fails in a hue of humour online, I think it is important to remember that 'fails,' can be funny, but they happen because, as moms and dads, we are not supposed to be perfect. In light of this, I started to think about all those moments that I was not as fast as usual to swipe into portrait mode (and believe me, they account for 70 - 80 % of my parenthood existence)
My Biggest Parenting Fails To Date
1. No bedtime routine
My second born has a wonderful bedtime routine and goes down to sleep calmly, soundly and sweetly. She usually sleeps straight through and is pretty much the dream baby in that department. My first born however, is five years old and is still in our room. The bed to space ratio in the room now resembles one of those overcrowded, overcharged rentals in Dublin City Centre! Hands are up for total failure there - we were so in love and so blind to the future when she first arrived, that she never knew her own room! Eviction notice has been handed over yet again. Wish us luck!
2. Screen time over quality time
While scrolling through Instagram, my daughter said to me 'Mom, when you are finished on your phone, can you help me build my Lego coffee machine?" I straight away put my phone down. What I got from that question was she thought my phone was my priority. This was a fail that really got me in the feels. In this tech savy world, everyone is constantly swiping and scrolling. Google is our new GP, guidance counsellor, handyman and stylist. My right thumb definitely gets more of a daily workout than my left. I have used my phone as a babysitter. I know I spend too much time with it in my hand. This is a fail that I am very conscious of. I want to build more Lego coffee machines!
3. Forgot pick up day
It was a Wednesday. I had a long in work. I was so happy the day was over. I stopped for diesel and set off home. I heard my phone vibrating on the seat next to me. I caught a glimpse of the caller on the screen. It was my daughter's dance teacher. It was that moment that my heart plummeted to the pit of my stomach. I looked at the time and felt sick. I was not just late collecting her, but I had forgotten I was even supposed to. Luckily I was only five minutes away and all was ok but it gave me a kick to get more organised. Some parents can get through the week of appointments, drop offs and collections seamlessly and without a stray hair in sight. I, however, need a visual schedules, paper reminders, digital alarms and I still arrive late with a baby fuzz fringe in static stress bounce mode!
So, as you scroll through the daily parenting performances online, remember your ticket is just to view the best bits. Even if the out takes are shown, they are well hidden and easily missed. Parenting is not a perfect performance. The bloopers are the best parts. I think we need to show them more.
If you would like to read the full article I have referenced, read it here "Pinterest Parenting: How millennials are facing overwhelming pressure to be perfect parents."
Family | Lifestyle |