Let me paint a picture for you - you are ten years old, you are in Tesco (or Quinnsworth if you are as old as me) doing the weekly shop with your mum, you survived the boredom, the shivering through the freezer isles and you're stacking the conveyor belt with groceries when your mum realises she forgot fish fingers. "I'll be back in a minute," she says, "keep loading." So you keep loading and the lady keeps scanning (at a ridiculously fast pace). You can see there are only three more items left to scan, Mum is NOT back, you're only ten - you don't own any money, there is a queue behind you and their shopping is piling up, your heart is pounding at such a rate and force that you just want to combust. "That's it," you think to yourself, "I'm going to be thrown out and chased home by a frantic mob of shoppers and security guards or thrown in jail for trying to steal these waffles!!!" You feel your throat drying and tightening up, your knees are shaking but your feet are stuck to the floor, she's still not back, it's the last item - WHERE ARE YOU MUM????????!!!!!!!!
"That will be €74.65 please," the cashier declares. Just as your whole body begins to turn into anxiety fumed flames, Mum appears with the fish fingers and is as cool as a financially stable cucumber, "Sorry about that, here's my card," she pants as you pick your heart off the floor.
Now, as an adult this scenario is not on my panic radar, but that's not to say these types of irrational anxieties are not part of my every day life - here's my top ten...
1. Being the last car to drive through a crossroads before the lights turn red
Will I make it? Will that line of cars in front of me move forward by the time I get there? Will the Luas have to flatten me if I get stuck on the tram line?? Ahhhhhh!!!!
2. Trying to pack my bags in Lidl or Aldi
There's no more room in my freezer bag... I can't think .... no time to problem solve!
3. Stepping foot into TK Max or Forever 21
Dis-organised chaos. How can anyone shop in either of these places - let me out.
4. When your phone is at 2% and you still have not reached your destination
Don't die on me now Google Maps. I can't be expected to engage in human interaction and ask for directions.
5. A phone call from an unknown number
You clearly don't want to tell me good news... I need to be mentally prepared for phone calls.
6. Walking in the same direction as someone I know after we've said hello or goodbye
Do I try speed up? Do I fall behind? Do I initiate a new conversation? AWKWARD!!!!
7. Committing to anything
I have two toddlers.... nothing is ever predictable
8. Getting in to bed and realising the wardrobe or bathroom door is open
I don't want to be that stupid girl in the horror movie who didn't abide by paranormal etiquette.
9. Walking or driving by the Gardaí
Considering my biggest crime to date was going camping when I was 16 and being the only one there still drinking Mi-Wadi, I still feel like Ireland's Most Wanted whenever the law passes me by!
10. When they have seen the text but are still not replying
I knew it, I knew it, they just woke up this morning and decided they do not want to be my friend anymore... unless that was them ringing on an unknown number... WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!!????
Family | Lifestyle |